My lived experiences and relational attachments led me on a path of self-discovery, spirituality, healing and connection. I recognise now that my dysfunctions with people, drugs, alcohol, food, sex, money, material worth and status, served a purpose for me to feel good enough and worthy of existence. I felt entirely lost in myself and the world, with such a strong sense of responsibility for others and not feeling able to fulfil this. Once I discovered the drivers behind these dysfunctions and feelings of loss I began to explore practices to support my wellbeing. Finding the time and right spaces to explore what I needed to was challenging yet gentle boundary breaking shamanic, breathwork and counselling practices I did find, helped me to heal the void and enter a new phase of transformation. Words cannot express how much all of these differences and changes were welcome and needed, even though there were times when everything felt too tough, and I wished I had not started the process.

The most profound constant I have experienced and continue to experience, is my yearning to create and nourish a community of gentle empathic and sensitive individuals on their soul path. Some of the authentic, sacred and ancestral rites we must pass supports us to recognise the power we have within ourselves when we are wholly accepted by our conscious tribe. In this community, there is no such thing as being too much or not enough, something I was raised believing. Eventually these new found connections enable us to care for ourselves and one another safely, and listen to our innate body wisdom whilst the world around us often appears to descend into greater obstinate chaos to keep up with the rest of society and the wider system. There is no magic wand or pills to ease the process, the gap we identify is "the work" we need to do to reach the next step in our life and community. Many people start by believing there is nothing else for them, but leave working with me feeling a true sense of purpose and fulfilment.

Neither I nor my family are perfect, we have made many decisions and choices which have affected others in many ways and we will continue to do so in this life - this is the nature of being human and living shamanically, we can strive for something better and learn from elders as well as taking our own wise or unwise steps. We are making changes and will continue to do so although do still fall into the trap of trying fitting in on occasions. It is impossible not to in this world in our lifetime, until something suddenly makes us stop and re-evaluate. This something is often undesirable and will repeat time and again until we consciously choose to do life differently.